To be certain of God means that we are uncertain in all our ways; we do not know what a day may bring forth. This is generally said with a sigh of sadness; it should rather be an expression of breathless expectation.
Oswald Chambers
Lately, I have allowed the uncertainty of our future to bring fear and sadness. Many of you know that we're in the middle of an international adoption and, quite frankly, it's taking too long to suit this Mama. We've, also, taken a step of faith and let everyone know that we're heading to Bulgaria. Talk about uncertainty. How will we raise the money, where we live, who will God fill our days with? Questions are everywhere.
I have many friends, who are adopting from Bulgaria and they are all in love with the country, the people, the food. They have said, repeatedly, how jealous they are of this opportunity we have to go and live in Bulgaria. I'll just be honest. It's adding to the uncertainty and fear. Are they only seeing the end of the story, where we live and minister in Bulgaria for 2 years? Are they overlooking the year long process to get us there? The questions...how will we raise the money, where will we live, who will God fill our days with, what will we come back home to?
We're not taking a vacation or a short-term mission's trip. We're leaving our lives behind. We're laying them down to follow after Jesus, to walk where He's calling. Our kids are leaving behind all of their friends, their activities, their lives. I'm just gonna be real, it's scary. We've been here before, though, on this road less traveled, the one where Jesus walks. We know that He will meet us here. We know that He has a plan. We have a certainty and a peace that comes from knowing this is what He called us to do.
It's an awesome thing to find yourself in the middle of God's will. I wouldn't want to be anywhere else. I'm human, though and it's a lonely place, sometimes. If the Holy Spirit brings us to mind, please, remember we're just regular people and more than anything we need your prayers and support. Tell us that you're praying, that you love us, that you'll walk this path with us. Even if you don't we'll still go. "Though none go with me still I will follow..." The journey is just sweeter with friends in it.
Today, I will choose breathless expectation. I will choose to look for God in each moment. I will choose to give it all back to him and let him do his marvelous work in our family. I am waiting with breathless expectation to see how God will meet our need. How he will answer the questions.
I'm especially thankful that, "He is God and I am not." We should all be able to find certainty in that statement, today.
Hidden in Christ,
Mandy
Mandy
I will continue to keep you in my prayers and ask for peace in your heart in the middle of all this uncertainty. Just know that what you are doing will bring you daily blessings along with the uncertainty. As plans fall into place, as you hold each precious child and see the love and gratefulness of acceptance on those little faces; even those that are trapped inside themselves will know you have loved them and the lines in their faces may soften. Bless you all for the joy you will bring and thank the Lord for the joy you will receive.
ReplyDeleteMandy, That was a beautiful post. I now know the feeling of the people who look at my life and ask the question, "Are you crazy?!" It's so hard for someone who doesn't have the call on their life to understand why anyone would want to do "that". (for me it's adopting 15 kids when I'm single and old) and during reading your blog post, I became one of "them" who is asking, "Mandy, why would you want to do that?" I get it now that I'm on the other side of the call. You are in my prayers, even though I don't understand how you can do this, I understand why....His name is Jesus.
ReplyDeleteI <3 you friend, if I could pack myself in your suitcase I would! I love watching and being a part where I can in these amazing plans God has for you all!
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