A Bump in the Road

We never know what life holds just around the curve in the road. What is coming over the next hill or lingering on the horizon? God asked us to move to Bulgaria. We are certain of that. We have struggled with the timing of it all, though. Now, God has allowed some obstacles to be placed in our path that we simply cannot ignore.

First, Marty's Mom has been ill for a little over a month, now. We very nearly lost her. Since then, it has become apparent that she needs to live in with us or with Marty's brother. The plan, right now, is to share Nana, a few months at our home and a few months with our brother and sister in law. I have struggled with this more than anything else God has ever asked of me. There have been tears, frustration, stretching like never before. All along, God brings Isaiah 58 to mind, where He speaks about the true fast. Part of that is being available to our family when they need us. Marty's Mom needs us here. She needs to live in a home where she can see healthy relationships and learn about loving Jesus. My heart longs to go to Bulgaria, but God requires more of me. He is teaching me about being compassionate, kind and loving, even when especially when I don't feel like it. This is what our faith does. It says, "Yes, Lord, use me" even when the answering is hard and requires more than we want to give.

Second, I had a phone call, today, with our pediatrician. We have been praying and have only shared with a few people that Klemi has a heart condition. The news from our pediatrician was not great. Another bump in the road. If what her report from the Cardiologist in Bulgaria says is true, we're looking at a heart surgery, shortly after her arrival here in the USA. Please, pray that the hole in her heart is not beyond repair and that the pulmonary hypertension it's causing is reversible. Really, just join us in praying that the Healer of broken hearts will mend her little heart, before she ever steps foot on American soil. Klemi will need to be followed by a heart surgeon for quite some time after her repair.

I type this and I think, "Why God?" It's not for us to question, though. God asked, we responded and maybe that's all He was looking for? Willing hearts. Were we, are we willing to walk away from our cushy American lives and GO wherever He calls? You bet we are. Is this the end of the road to Bulgaria? We don't believe it is. We simply believe the journey just got a little more difficult and a lot more interesting. Either way, we'll walk this road as long as Jesus is walking with us. We have found more often than not, that this is where He meets us, on the road less traveled.

For now, we're going to put our fundraising on hold. The funds that have already been given will be going to another missionary, adoptive family. If you've made a donation and you'd rather us not forward that on to them, please, send me a message and we'll get your money back to you. Thank you, friends, for your prayers and your support. We'll keep sharing our journey here and hopefully, one day soon, we'll be back on the road to Bulgaria, with 5 beautiful healthy kids in tow.

Pray, Adopt, Advocate, Support...Do Something!

Hidden in Christ,
Mandy

already, but not yet...

One of the things that God has used adoption to birth in my heart is a greater understanding of the "already, but not yet" tension found in the gospel message. Many people, today, question how there can be a sovereign, loving God, who would allow suffering, pain and loss to occur. Therein, lies the "already, but not yet" truth of the Gospel. Jesus has already done the work of salvation, but we have yet to see His Kingdom come here on earth.

It's quite the conundrum and often difficult to wrap our minds around. Already...

Adoption is like this. There is a certainty that comes when we hear God whisper into our hearts that this child is ours. We know beyond a doubt that we would move heaven and earth to get to our child. They are already ours. I promise, that if we never hold them in our arms or bring them to our homes, they are as much ours as any child born from our womb.

But, not yet...

Then, there's the other side of adoption. The risk of losing our hearts to the knowing and loving of a child on the other side of the world. The steps involved in the process, that says even after the child is legally yours, you must wait until the appointed time to pick up your daughter or son and bring them home. In essence, we are living in the already, but not yet space of time, however brief, until we can hold our child.

This is where the Gospel comes to life for me in adoption (well, one of the places). The work of the cross is already done, but the rewards of the Kingdom are not yet...

The tension can be great between the two places. The place of certainty in knowing the God of Already and the place of great faith in trusting the God of not yet. How we live and walk in this space in between is the real witness of the Gospel message here on earth.

How are we filling this time? What are we doing with our little bit of eternity that exists in the already, but not yet?

Hidden in Christ,
Mandy